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Joke of the Day

"If a... If a black bird brings black babies, and a blue bird brings blue babies.. What kind of bird brings no babies? A swallow."

"In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people."

"[finding a secret passage in my NYC-apartment that leads to a corpse-filled torture dungeon] HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL THIS EXTRA SPACE I HAVE!"

"Then an extremely attractive couple walked in, instantly ruining everyone else's good time."

"I have tits. You will believe my lies."

"Love is a battlefield. And I fight naked."

"Why did Walmart go out of business in Iraq? Because there are too many targets."

"What did one little lesbian frog say to the other? ""We really do taste like chicken!"""

"People keep coming up to me & saying ""You have the right amount of hair my son."" Is this normal? Does anyone else have this problem? Hello??"

"How do soldiers tell if a woman is a genuine Red-Head? If it's red on top, fire in the hole."