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Joke of the Day
"A wizard cursed my land yesterday. Now that's an evil plot!"
Next Joke
"My son has just earned his first boy scout award for 'video gaming'. I guess the next ones will be for 'social ineptitude' & 'pale skin'."
"A homeless guy jumps on your back... Do you carry him around or beat him off?"
"When your boss tells you ""I need you to have everything done by Friday."" You say... I can't have everything done by Friday! Who do you think I am, Robinson Crusoe?!"
"""But I need braaaaaaains!"" ~A frustrated zombie at a Trump rally"
"A blind man walks into a bar Then into a chair, then into table."
"What's the difference between new cops and old cops? New Cops: Belly with abs. Old Cops: Belly with Fats."
"That new movie, Daja Vu... Haven't I seen it before?"
"We act like we're too cool for ""brand loyalty"" but if someone says they *bing'd* something, we beat them to death in the street."
"Never forget. Never forget that Americans can't even get the date the right way around. Sincerely the rest of the world on 9/11."