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Joke of the Day

"How to stop, drop and roll if you are drunk. If you're drunk, it's not called the stop, drop and roll. It's called the stop, drop and stop rolling around so your drunk friend can piss on you."

Next Joke
 
"What's better than a paradox? A pair of nurses"
"So this bloke said to me... He said "" I once got my dog to bring back a stick thrown 100 miles away"". I said ""that's a bit far-fetched"""
"Operation Protective Edge was not about wearing condoms."
"Looking for a book club where you have to discuss the same one every week? Try organized religion!"
"So Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and phosphorus walk into a bar. The bartender says ""OH SNAP"""
"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9."
"""This soup was so good I wish I could just...NOMCRNCHNCH"" *chewing glass* ""There must be a better way!"" -Inventing the bread bowl"
"I've got a 100 question vocab quiz this friday on 9/11... Well I guess I'm gonna bomb it"
"/r/creepy I mean seriously, one was just an open door."