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Joke of the Day
"3 fonts walk into a bar. Bartender says, ""We don't serve your type."""
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"I'm dyslexic and wanted to write Santa But Satan showed up."
"Charlotte's Web is a horrible lie. If you hear a spider talking, let someone know bc you either have a concussion or that spider is a demon."
"* on a date snuggling * Me: Did you enjoy dinner? Her: Yeah, but now I feel fat. Me: Get your hands off my belly."
"How do you tell the difference between the front and back of a tree? Go to the toilet, because you would never shit in front of a tree."
"I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method."
"I still struggle daily with how Ed Hardy happened"
"I just got early access to the new Injustice: Mods among us."
"It's not that I'm antisocial. My phone just happens to be a lot more interesting than the entire human population."
"A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work."