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Joke of the Day

"I told a chemistry joke a few days ago... Unfortunately, I didn't get a reaction."

"Hit a cop car last night. The driver let me off with a warning..... ""Anything you say can and will be used against you."""

"Why do stoners love couches? Because of their 'cush'ions!"

"[i wake up confused] KIDNAPPER: youll never guess where we are! ME: [observing floor tile pattern] this is a Dennys bathroom KIDNAPPER: shit"

"I was flirting with this teenager on the internet... ...after a while, she tells me she's an undercover cop. How cool is that for someone her age?"

"What do call an Asian person who sucks at jokes ? Obvious-lee"

"revolting SERVANT: Ms. Pao, the Redditors are revolting! PAO: Well, you're not so pretty yourself..."

"What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I have never payed for a garbanzo bean on my face."

"How to bargain with your wife Me: Can I get a motorcycle? Wife: No. Me: Can. I get a boat? Wife: NO! Me: Can I get a blowjob? Wife: (sighs) Is it a BIG boat?"

"I like my men how I like my rum Smooth, dark, rich, and with a bunch of coke."