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Joke of the Day

"How do you spot a blind guy at a strip club? It's not hard."

"I'm a strict vegetarian. After I kill a cow I don't eat ANY of it."

"I heard that Bill Clinton threw his support behind Bernie Sanders He misheard. He thought the campaign slogan was *Feel the Intern*."

"I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together."

"Woman 1 - Your husband now comes home early. How has this happened? Woman 2 - I've simply told him sex will start exactly at 9 PM, with or without him."

"I really want a sandwich, but I just don't have the time or energy to find a girlfriend right now....."

"If I ever get a dog I'm going to teach him how to fetch useful things like tv remotes, iPhones and men who like red wine."

"At this point, the only reason I still get The New Yorker is to impress my mailman."

"I once dated this German golfer chick. She was a pretty cool girl but she wouldn't ever do anal. She lovingly referred to her butthole as her back nein."

"I would never have a threesome. If I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd have dinner with my parents."