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Joke of the Day

"Please just wear the strap-on. It was a gift from Grandma and she wants to see you in it, OK? Come ON church starts in like half an hour."

"What kinda psychopath tries to get in touch with someone by calling them on the phone. What is this...1984?"

"I have an on again off again relationship with clothing."

"Today I found ought I was adopted... but they gave me back."

"My buddy told me he wanted to study paleontology... I told him it was a dead-ends job."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off of a cliff. Ba-dum tisch"

"Dear every hip hop artist: No, I don't know what you're saying. Maybe if you ask me another 36 times before the song is over."

"Work said I was going to do a drug test today. So far I haven't tested any drugs, but this weird guy asked me to urinate in a cup."

"Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed... First favourite is cake."

"My phone just sent me an unsolicited hockey score. Aren't there Japanese horror films that start this way?"