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Joke of the Day

"Just checked FaceBook.. Apparently there are only 4 more days till the weekend.. I'll keep you posted if anything changes guys"

"Vodka is just potatoes that made the right career choices."

"I don't see why being an astronaut is so hard, school teachers do it. Get in the rocket, rocket goes up, rocket blows up. I could do that."

"I'm sorry I snort-laughed when you were saying your vows."

"How many ducks would there be if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks two ducks between two ducks and two ducks behind two ducks? Answer: 4 ducks-because they are in a row."

"""Doctor Doctor, I have three vaginas"" Well is it causing you any problems? ""Problems!? I'm getting fucked left right and centre!"""

"How old is your Grandma? I dunno but we've had him a long time."

"Kanye on the beach, by the water, holding two large conch shells up to either ear. ""That's incredible"", he says ""When did I record this?"""

"Im trying to get back to my original weight. 7 lbs 9 oz"

"My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed."