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Joke of the Day

"Why did the guitar player get arrested He was fingering a minor"

"Why do they call it PMSing? Mad Cow disease was already taken."

"What does a 9 volt battery have in common with a girls arsehole? You know its wrong but sooner or later your going to lick it."

"My family tree is a cactus,,,,,, Yeah, we're mostly pricks."

"A friend is someone who will help you move. A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a dead body."

"""Hi-"" ""I have a boyfriend."" ""Do y-"" ""I have a boyfriend."" ""Excuse m-"" ""I have a boyfriend."" ""I JUST WANNA KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS."""

"I am not well... ... neither am I a river!"

"What did Germany say to Britain during World War II? I'd luft to waffe a few bombs in your direction."

"Do you know why I like camping? Because it's intense."

"2016 took so many beautiful, talented men I've loved my entire life. Seems unfair that I still have to dodge my ex at the grocery store."