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Joke of the Day

"""Lord of the Rings"" seems like kind of a racist book. It doesn't even have a Tolkien black guy."

"I dropped my toothpaste! ...Tom exclaimed, crestfallen."

"""I'm happy with who I am, sure. But I'm not gonna go around calling myself ""great"" like some of these jerks."" --humble white shark."

"What do you call a muslim body builder? A protein sheikh"

"The physics teacher break up with the biology teacher Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry."

"Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman."

"A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m. ...and his wife is livid. ""You SWORE that you'd be home by 11:45!"" ""No,"" slurs the mathematician... ""I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."""

"What is your favorite knick knock joke? Do tell."

"Why do the Scottish wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."

"50 mph winds here and I looked out the window and saw a package of Oreos fly by my house. At this rate, I will never have to leave for food."