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Joke of the Day

"Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won't notice... Call her fat once and she will never forget. That's because elephants never forget."

"Honestly Officer, the pharmacy ran out of those orange pill bottles so they just gave it to me in this plastic baggie."

"I would like to go to Holland Wooden shoe"

"Why is it called PMS? Because mad cow disease was already taken."

"So Fabio is endorsing a new line of Fleshlights They're calling them ""I can't believe it's not butt."""

"Just finished reading the Declaration of Independence to my kids, and they went to live with their dad"

"It took a lot of balls for me to go on the Channel 4 show ""Embarrassing Bodies"". Three actually."

"What do you call a sexually-confused Arctic Circle? Bi-polar"

"Went to the disco last night... Went to the disco last night. They played Twist, so I did the Twist. They played Jump, so I jumped. They played Come on Eileen, I got kicked out for that one.."

"Someone threw NaCl at me That's a salt"