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Joke of the Day

"Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won't notice... Call her fat once and she will never forget. That's because elephants never forget."

"I'm voting for Hillary Clinton because... According to Bill, she doesn't suck."

"A driver had to slam on their brakes to avoid hitting a midget... ...I guess you can say they made a short stop."

"Did you hear about the couple who went on a second honeymoon to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary? This time it was his turn to sit on the edge of the bed and cry because it was too big."

"I'm so thankful for my kids.If it weren't for them I'd never know what a cool sound my vacuum cleaner makes when it sucks up Rice Crispies."

"What's the difference between a baby and a tree? Trees don't bleed when you cut their limbs off."

"Three Jews walk into a bar... ...and head straight to the back room to check the books to see how much profit it's been making. Because they own the bar. Because they're Jews."

"Roses are red Violets are blue Meet me in bed To learn something new Pfff....poetry is easy"

"Don't cha wish ya girlfriend was a clinically depressed cat owning weirdo like me"

"This isn't a joke, I'm a Black guy who's in dire need of white jokes.... Give me your best Reddit! ^^^^"