213782

Joke of the Day

"Why is Bernie Sanders seems like having a long nose? because AIR IS FREE"

"If you say the words 'beer can' in a British accent, it sounds like you're saying 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent."

"What do you call a black hipster? blipster"

"[at a funeral] *approaches the weeping widow and embraces her* *whispers* ""So you're single now, right?"

"There is too much freedom in this country, we need more expensive smart."

"I was shocked when they said I should spend a month's income on an engagement ring, but dammit girl, you're WORTH 900 favs."

"Today should be called bridge day.. 'Cause I'm over it"

"A man shot a guy in the butt from 1000m away It was one helluva crack-shot."

"You guys, The Hobbit is a straight-up ripoff of my unreleased 3-hour experimental film ""Helicopter Shots of People Walking."""

"What do you call a squashed Italian? A Nepalitano. Oh yeah - wait a sec - OK - for the low-info crowd here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napolitano"