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Joke of the Day

"A man shot a guy in the butt from 1000m away It was one helluva crack-shot."

"I moved into an advent calendar today... Its very cold, all the windows are open."

"Call your laptop what it really is: Bed TV."

"Russian joke A bear is walking through the forest when he sees a car on fire. The bear gets into it and burns to death."

"What's a terrorists favorite sex toy? A blow up doll!"

"I was having sex with a woman when her husband got home early She told me to use the back door and to be quick. I probably should have just left, but it's not every day you get an offer like that."

"How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the pyschopath"

"I heard Alabama changed the drinking age to 32. They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools."

"Soon we'll all have to sign an apartment lease, sign up for electricity, and water, and cable, and school didn't teach any of this."

"My answer to everything today will be FUCK YOU, I'M AN ANTEATER!"