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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally jerked off to a picture of my mom this morning... I mean its really not my fault though, most babies look alike."

"Why did god give women legs? Have you ever seen the trail a snail leaves?"

"A Jewish boy needs $20 So he asks his father. Son: Papa, could I have twenty bucks please? Father: Ten bucks!? Whaddya need five bucks for!?"

"If you were a Canadian and I were a Canadian and we bumped into each other, who would apologize first? I'm not a Canadian so get out of my fucking way! I'm Walking Here!"

"Please pray for my friends' 4 yr old. I just found out that ten minutes of his life wasn't photographed or documented on Facebook today."

"Don't understand how people in depression commercials can be sad with how attractive they are."

"A maybe original one-liner ""I put blood, sweat, and tears into my work,"" said the disgusting bartender."

"My favorite joke: How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!"

"Tiger Woods says he's been ""blown away"" by the reception from fans. Sometimes the setup doesn't need a punchline."

"What's the difference between an old Greyhound terminal and a lobster with double D breasts? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."