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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an old Greyhound terminal and a lobster with double D breasts? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."

"Him: I like powerful women. Me: Gotcha. *dresses up as a rhino*"

"What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and Jesus himself? You only need one nail to hang a picture of Jesus."

"What did Obama say to Congress when they vetoed Obama Care? My god, you're all insane. Am I the only one Hussein?"

"What do you call it when an oyster takes a picture of itself? A shell-fie"

"How many South American people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Brazilian"

"I want a Times New Roman on the streets and a Wingdings in the sheets."

"A man walks into a chemist and asks for some Viagra at the counter... The chemist says to the man, ""Do you have a prescription for that?"" ""No."" The man replies, ""But will a photo of my wife suffice?"""

"Advertisers think we're like ""Oh a pop-up ad is in the way of the thing I actually want to watch? I should purchase whatever it's selling!"""

"2 halloweens ago I was brutally owned by a small child when I answered my door in normal clothes and she said ""nice lumberjack costume."""