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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish boy needs $20 So he asks his father. Son: Papa, could I have twenty bucks please? Father: Ten bucks!? Whaddya need five bucks for!?"

"Hope there is a particularly fiery spot in hell for anyone capable of losing a dog in an enclosed dog park."

"I would love to know what it's like to be handsome for one day... ... because everyday is just too much."

"Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two? Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!"

"Don't dwell on bad things that happened in your past. Focus on the terrible things that'll happen tomorrow."

"*slips a 20* How about a private dance ""Okay let's go"" *heads to private room* ""You ready?"" Oh hell yeah *we both do the cha cha slide*"

"It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. "

"Wife: Do the dishes Me: Can't. Holding the baby Wife: Take out the trash Me: Can't. Baby Wife: Change the baby Me: Can't. Doing dishes."

"My mate recently lost all of his fingers in a horrible accident. I can't even begin to imagine how he feels."

"Whats the difference between Jelly and Jam? I can't jelly my dick into your girls ass."