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Joke of the Day

"His First Blow Job A teenage boy comes home excited and says, ""Dad! I just had my first blowjob!"" The father says, ""That's great, son. How was it?"" ""Tasted awful."""

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway bag? Take the S out of safe and the F out of way.."

"Did you hear that the BBC have sacked Bob the Builder? They feel they can no longer trust a children's TV star who claims to be able to 'fix it'"

"Hey, thanks for making sure ""Nazi"" is capitalized, iPhone. Way to honor them."

"What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up? An umbrella!"

"What do cows do when they're introduced? They give each other a milk shake!"

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we care."

"Why did Hillary go to the gynecologist? She was feelin' the Bern!"

"Love in 2013 means answering each other's texts immediately."

"""You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Trump won the election? IS IT BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!"" ""Mister President, we've been over this..."""