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Joke of the Day

"Hey, thanks for making sure ""Nazi"" is capitalized, iPhone. Way to honor them."

"Wow, some people are so prepared! Christmas is 364 days away, and some people already have their lights up!"

"There's a fine line between being tan and looking like you were rolled in Doritos."

"Don't be sexist. It's just wrong. And being wrong is for women."

"I wish my cocaine was emo so it would cut itself."

"A pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""Hey, you know you have a steering wheel between you legs right?"" The pirate replies, ""Arrrr, Matey! It drives me nuts!"""

"Joke that will piss off any feminists how many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None that's a man's job."

"Shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets."

"Confession: I have dipped cheese into softer cheese."

"Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Jesus turned it into wine."