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Joke of the Day

"What does a rotting corpse say? idk"

"""Excuse me, do you validate parking?"" I sure do, champ. *kisses your forehead* Your parking is second to none."

"A T-100 is sent back to 2016 to terminate Trump and Clinton. Who survives? Not the next redditor to post a fucking 'America' version of the disaster set up."

"God created the light... Then he called it a day."

"Atheists are Popeless romantics."

"Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ? Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining."

"What's the difference between a Swedish jam band and slam dunking a baby? One's a Swedish Phish and the other's a fetus swish"

"What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba-Na-Na-Na"

"I dig, You dig, We dig, He dig, She dig, They dig, It might not be a very beautiful poem, but at least, it's quite deep."

"A guy found his dog lying in a puddle of blood behind his house He rang the number for the emergency animal rescue. 'Is it moving?' they asked. 'Yes', he replied. 'It's quite emotional.'"