148683

Joke of the Day

"Atheists are Popeless romantics."

"How does the Asian chef get to work? He woks."

"Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom."

"it's easy as pie! 'what does that even mean?' *pie stumbles in drunk* pie: i just had sex with the homeless guy under the bridge 'oh'"

"A boy asks his father: ""Dad, dad, what's abortion?"" ""Ask your sister."", the father responds. ""But I don't have a sister"", the boy says, confused. ""That's the point."""

"Happy Birthday question from grandpa Hey nephew are you trying to overtake me?"

"Every time I use Twitter secretly at work and a colleague asks me why I'm laughing, ""this pie chart is hilarious!"" never sounds believable."

"Me: I just souped up my car Person: What kind of engine did you put in it? *cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one."

"Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers."

"I firmly believe in taking care of one's body... That's why I protect mine in a thick layer of fat."