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Joke of the Day

"Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ? Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining."

"[NSFW] Why did the priest cum on the little boy's face twice? Because Jesus said to turn the other cheek"

"YOU EVER SHIT SOOO GOOD YOU CUM? AND GET ALL LIGHT HEADED AND SHIT? -UNCLE SAM T."

"I have a fetish for paradoxes. They really turn me off."

"I think my life would have turned out differently had I forwarded those chain letters in the 80's."

"me: [seductively ignores and stays away from you to let you know i'm into you]"

"What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites? Male Fraud!"

"I start conversations with my children by saying ""Listen to me,"" to ensure they stop paying attention from the beginning."

"Attributed to Mr Rogers... ...supposedly told by him to a FOAF on his first day on the job as a cameraman on Mr Rogers Neighborhood. Knock knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? No, fuck WHOM."

"Liam Neeson's wife asks him to do some household chores Taken: Out the Garbage"