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Joke of the Day

"Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ? Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining."

"Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy, but here' say number. Call me maybe. Okay, hello Maybe. I'll leave now."

"What came first? The chicken or the egg? Clearly the chicken. How would an egg orgasm?"

"I need to polish up on my flirting skills... Hej kochanie, chcesz niektore pieprzy?"

"I cheated on my girlfriend once We were playing monopoly and while she wasn't looking I took some of her money. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."

"What do you call a really nice retard? A sweet potato"

"Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None that's a hardware problem."

"For most people, when you lose your ""khakis"" you lost your pants. When you're from Boston and lose your ""khakis"" you can't start your car."

"Don't try to sell a membership to the president of the fan club."

"I had to ground my 8yo son for this one [NSFW] Son: Dad, why do you have to wrap a bunny in duct tape? Me: I don't know son, why? Son: So it doesn't explode when you fuck it! Me: Son: ( )"