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Joke of the Day

"I like my steak how I like my women Tinder-ized."

"Me: why did you stop me? Cop: for starters you're not wearing a seatbelt. Me: what about main course? Cop: step out of the car."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me CRUCIO!"

"My parents once sent me abroad for the summer I didn't learn a thing from her."

"IDK why everyone is sad about Whitney Houston dying; you didn't know her personally. You only knew her musically & musically she died in '93"

"""Sleep is for the dead"". Yeah cos you look so alive when you're yawning. #stupidsayings"

"I shall plucketh thine eyes from ye skull and make kebobs but with bendy straws instead of skewers cuz those are dangerous"

"Seeing jelly in the peanut butter jar is gross, that's why it's important to lick the knife before you stick it in there."

"MOBA Joke Why are Americans bad at MOBAs? Because they cant defend towers."

"Did you hear about the constipated Mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."