21345

Joke of the Day

"Therapist: Do u ever feel like hurting yourself Me: No T: What about other people Me:.....................................................No"

"What's does America and programming have in common? When you fix one problem, 38 more problems pop up."

"Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer."

"Everyone hates Mondays and Tuesdays Even the weekdays go WTF"

"Wife: Tell me how many women you fucked during your 5 year trip. Husband: None! Wife: For every one that you tell me I'll give you a hundred dollars Husband: I don't need your 36000 dollars!"

"Break ups are the worst in China. You see her face everywhere."

"Dad: When you turn 18, I'm taking you to the strip club. Teen: Of course not dad! Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house."

"My girlfriend had a sexual fantasy to roleplay as a 14 year old in bed. I think it's pretty gross. Besides, she'll be 14 in 2 years anyway."

"Do cats like Deadmau5? I mean he is a mouse himself, but maybe they like the concept?"

"[NSFW] I've been 1 week in college and already had five times the sex I had in 3 years of highschool. 5x0=0"