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Joke of the Day

"Xbox exclusive games"

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"What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation."
"if you see suicide squad be sure to stay after the credits. lots of people leave half empty containers of popcorn and you can just have them"
"What do you call ten thousand pastors setting themselves on fire in protest of marriage equality? A good start."
"An atheist and a vegan walks into a bar... I know that because they told everybody."
"It's totally amazing how cars run on dinosaur poop or however the fuck fossils work. I'm not a dinosaur scientition over here. Fuck's sake."
"Two guys are busted stealing a calender The both got 6 months"
"[david attenborough voice] wolves, also known as nature's best animal, have been cool for hundreds of thousands of years"
"[God Creating Raccoons] God: make a panda but a trash panda, then give it a mask so that people would know it will kill them for their food"
"I wanted to make up a poem about the night we fell in love, but I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with inebriated."