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Joke of the Day

"House for sale. Spider on ceiling."

"What can you say about lots of protected sex? It is a common misconception"

"I prefer masturbating with coconut oil as opposed to lotion It just cums naturally."

"The day I realized my cursing had gotten out of hand. ... was when I dropped the soap in the prison shower and screamed, ""Fuck me right in the ass!"""

"Instead of calling it them locker combinations.... We should call the locker permutations."

"I would pay double my Netflix subscription if Stranger Things Season 2 brought back Barb from a parallel universe who then confesses her love for Nancy. You? What would you do for a clone dyke Barb?"

"I know Mexican judo Judo know if I have a knife. Judo know if I have a gun."

"[in Batmobile] Superman: Hey Batman: Sup? S: Promise you won't be mad? B: [sighs] I asked if you had to go before we left the Batcave!!"

"Did you hear that the World Hokey Pokey Champion has died? At the undertakers, they were putting him into the coffin. They got his left leg in. That's when the trouble started..."

"waldo at the gym can't none of y'all spot me"