199981

Joke of the Day

"The day I realized my cursing had gotten out of hand. ... was when I dropped the soap in the prison shower and screamed, ""Fuck me right in the ass!"""

"Why is Daniel Radcliffe celebrated and worshiped in Judaism? Because he's the only one who escaped the chamber."

"I just put a whole frozen chicken up my arse April fools! It was just a drumstick."

"John: ""I'm a man of few words."" Bill: ""I'm married too."""

"Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 332 words."

"I got an e-mail saying 'At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!' I thought 'thats just a spam'"

"I was at the park today by the playground. A mother asked me which kid was mine. ""I haven't decided yet.""."

"Why are dog boners so classy? Because their pinkie is out ^gross"

"Hey whatcha eating? ""A pluot"" Wtf is a pluot? ""A cross between a plum & an apricot"" That's really stupid. *rides off on a liger*"

"What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner? ""I ain't no chive, Turkey."""