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Joke of the Day

"Lovers When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"Why is Dr. Frankenstein never lonely? He's good at making friends."

"What do you call someone who specializes in trains? A trained professional"

"Why don't women get hit by trains? There is no railroad tracks between the living room and the kitchen."

"Been talking to this girl for 10 mins and she hasn't slapped me OR called me ""gross""... Hope she's ok with the names I picked for our kids."

"OMG!! Lady Diana was on the radio yesterday!! Well, technically she was also on the steering wheel, the cupholder, a small splatter of her on the dashboard.."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a bush? BARRY"

"I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating And I was like OMG"

"A week before Abraham Lincoln was shot he was in Monroe, Maryland... A week before Kennedy was shot he was in Marilyn Monroe."

"I don't know what it means to ""find your better half"" but I hope my better half is a robot so that I can be half human half robot."