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Joke of the Day

"Started the mower for the 1st time this year.36 pulls & then I passed out.When I came to, yard had crop circles & the beagle had a mohawk."

"Another joke from my daughter Her: Why did Sally fall off the swing? Me: Why? Her: Because she had no arms. Me: ??? Her: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Her: Not Sally!"

"I've been reading a book on North African History It's very moorish."

"So I'm at the bank today, and the attractive female teller was flirting with me and stuff which was weird considering she could see my account balance."

"Last night I dreamt I was a muffler I woke up exhausted"

"ANIMALS IT'S OK TO KILL IN AFRICA 1. Mosquitoes 2. Terminally ill zebra who signed a DNR 3. The Nazi monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark"

"I recently told my girlfriend about removing the cookies and site data because it slows down the browser speed... Now she understands why I delete the browsing history everyday."

"So french me was speaking in english with one of my friends, when suddenly he starts making fun of my accent.... I told him it was the only car i could afford!"

"What do you get when you put a live rabbit in the oven? A hot cross bun."

"Dad, my laptop's frozen. Have you tried warming it up?"