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Joke of the Day

"What is the date in Germany/Brasil today? 7-1. (world cup)"

"This week's weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs."

"Synonames: two names that fit the same type of person (see: Trish and Pam)"

"Arrested for not picking up after his seeing eye dog, the blind man pleaded, ""I didn't see shit!"""

"I was going to go to Psychic School... ...But I couldn't afford the intuition fee."

"""I'm sorry. I haven't had sex for a very long time."" -- and other things I say during the meeting to excuse my bad behavior."

"What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie? You can't dip a vampire in your tea."

"I fainted at an Indian restaurant when I found out that R.E.M had split up That's me in the korma."

"whats the difference between rush limbaugh and the hindenburg? ones a flaming bag of hot gas the other is a blimp"

"They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be ""Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."""