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Joke of the Day

"Like a hooker at a truck stop, Twitter goes down every Friday."

"5 out of 6 people would recommend it... 5 out of 6 people who played Russian roulette, would recommend it to others."

"What's a Warboy's from Mad Max's favourite web browser? Chrome"

"son, you don't need to close your eyes, it's just a movie. the killer from the movie can still get you even if you're not watching it"

"My boss was all, ""Do you know why I called you to the office, "" and I was like, ""I dunno is there a hidden security camera in the bathroom."""

"Handgun owners have a 2% increased rate of suicide. If we could get that up to 10%, Democrats stand a chance in 2020."

"How do you know you have a high sperm count? She's got to chew before swallowing."

"Yo Mama's so fat she sank the Titanic!"

"(Gamblers Anonymous meeting) Leader: Bob, tell us why you're here. Me: $20 it's a Blackjack addiction. Group: *all rushing to place bets*"

"Noses and Boyfriends Boyfriends are like noses... People get disgusted when you blow them in public. Especially if you're caught without a tissue"