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Joke of the Day

"What are the only two similarities between my favorite buger joint, and the orgy I just had? Nothing but Five Guys, extra salty EDIT: Also, I can't type. Burger*"

"If life gives you melons... you're probably dyslexic."

"when the ice cream man drives down my street I walk alongside him screaming TAKE ME WITH YOU I WILL BEAR YOU MANY STRONG SONS"

"Please, if I ever offend you, it's because I meant to."

"Then: Me: I want McDonald's Mom: Do you have McDonald's money? Now: Mom: I want grandkids Me: Do you have grandkids money??"

"What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV? The Patriots"

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and smell bad."

"how to hot dogs: 1) ""read"" hot dogs instructions 2) place 5 to 60 hot dogs in warm microwave or sink 3) add 1 piece of ketchup 4( drink"

"What did the guy say when he found out that his wife's breast s had implants? ""THOSE ARE SILLY CONES"""

"My friend was being attacked by a duck. I tried to warn him but it only made things worse."