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Joke of the Day

"What is a horses number 1 priority when voting? A stable economy"

"What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital? With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell."

"I could probably survive about a week in the wilderness eating only the food I spill on my shirt any given day."

"Look ma, no hands. I was caught shoplifting in Saudi Arabia :("

"I once killed 19 birds with one gunshot, people asked why didn't I round up to 20 Do you really think I would risk getting caught lying just for 1 bird ?"

"Olympic Results for Sailing are out: The British have taken the Gold medal. The French have taken the Silver medal. The Somalians have taken the boats."

"HER: I love sweater weather ME: *holding up an umbrella to protect us from falling sweaters* It's that time of year again already?!"

"Baby's first cigarette!"

"Q. What do clouds do when they become rich? A. They make it rain!"

"GEEK BOOTY CALL... CHARISMA Looks like somebody rolled a 20 on their Charisma check!"