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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI? The cigarette."

"I went out with a girl last week, she told me she wanted to be 'treated like a Princess'... So I put her in the back of a Mercedes and drove it into a wall."

"What's the most annoying thing about making cheese? The curds get in the whey!"

"I missed the lunar eclipse, but I've seen shadows before, so I get how awestruck everyone was."

"If your erection lasts longer than four hours, call your doctor. Or masturbate. Either one works"

"I'm not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry."

"Went on a date once. He ordered for me, ""She'll have a small side salad."" I said, ""Yes, and a side of sirloin and a loaded baked potato."""

"Why didn't Sally become a prostitute to pay her bills? Because it was Plan B."

"Whos jared fogles favorite outlaw... ...Billy the kid"

"What do you call a nose without a body? Nobody nose."