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Joke of the Day

"Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked them who the greatest composer was all they would say is ""mmmmmm... Bach Bach Bach""!"

"Exercise can add years to your life. This enables you, at 95 years, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $7,000 a month."

"What is the purpose of war? ""God created War so that Americans would learn Geography"" - Mark Twain"

"Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out of the knickers."

"Why do Hipsters wear long pants in the summer They are doing it before it's cool"

"I did a striptease for my wife but it didn't go well. I got my shirt stuck on my head, and by the time I got it off, she had left the room."

"Why is everyone in the Soviet Union always in a hurry? Why is everyone in the Soviet Union is always in a hurry? They're all Russian."

"What is the last thing to go through a sea gull's mind when it gets hit by a jumbo jet? It's ass."

"Ms. Pac-Man should only cost 70% of a quarter per play"

"Sunday mornings are a great time for me to reflect on why I haven't killed anyone yet"