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Joke of the Day

"I got arrested by a female cop today... She said ""everything you say can and will be held against you"". I replied ""your boobs""."

"If you leave your iphone unattended I will tell Siri to kill you in your sleep."

"Someone asked who sang Johnny B Goode, and I said Marty McFly because I'm not an idiot and I know how time travel works."

"The sandwich I ate for lunch reminded me of my dad.. gone."

"Why are atheists so light? They have no mass."

"A rabbi, a nun, and a horse walk into a bar, bartender says ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"Hell yes, I'll be at the stores at 4 am. I'm not going to buy anything, I just like punching people."

"Yo mama so fat ... ... last christmas I took a picture of her. It's still printing."

"Good Cop: If you confess now, you'll probably just get probation. Fad Cop: Hey Macarena!"

"What does Diana stand for? Dead In A Nasty Accident."