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Joke of the Day

"What does Diana stand for? Dead In A Nasty Accident."

"""I don't know, dude. Probably science & shit."" Worst answer I ever gave in a job interview. :("

"ME: Have you seen my denim jacket? GF: No, but it's okay. Just checked the weather & it's not going to be the 1980s today..."

"How many Jews can you fit in a car? (OFFENSIVE) Two in the front, 3 in the back, six million in the ash tray."

"As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?"

"A woman entered a psychiatrist's consulting room leadind a kangaroo.""I'm worried about my husband doctor "" she said. ""He keeps thinking he's a kangaroo! """

"I am going to the Antique Roadshow. Gonna slap my tampon on the table and ask them what period it's from."

"A salmon that jumps on the hook for ya http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdAoQvqh7eY"

"What do a fly and a boner have in common? You can't go to sleep without whacking it."

"What's an old carpenter's biggest issue? Losing teeth."