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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about how the Police were called to a daycare yesterday? a three-year-old was resisting a rest"

"I wish my grass was more emo. Then it would cut itself."

"What's the difference between erotic and kinky ? Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use a whole chicken."

"If the backup sensor beeping in my car is keeping with the beat of the song I'm listening to I'm probably just gonna hit whatever it is."

"TIL: After Pearl Harbor, US warships fired upon friendly u boats heading back to port. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Which scientist invented the nuclear powered floor cleaner? J. Robert Moppenheimer"

"A vegan girl told me that, ""If you eat beef, you're basically a velociraptor."" In what world is that not totally awesome."

"What do you call an orang-utan which has been in the sun for too long? An OranguTAN!"

"The Final Jeopardy category is: Movies. The answer is: 300. The correct question is: on a scale of 1 to 10, how gay was that movie?"

"Why are there no feminists in Japan? Because the Japanese hunt whales."