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Joke of the Day

"Why are fish so smart? They are always in schools!"

"The most successful marriages and the very worst marriages end exactly the same way... ...with one partner watching the other one die."

"What noise did the dumbbells make when they were dropped? ... Dong-Ding."

"For me, coming out as a teenager was the hardest thing I've experienced. God knows what it must have been like for my mother. Being in labour for that long."

"How do a neckbeard's cells divide? by m'tosis"

"I figure I must be Bi-sexual. I have sex twice a year."

"I accidently pooped myself in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."

"I swallowed a 1 coin today.. ..I went to the hospital and after poking around for 10 minutes he stuck his head up and said 'ok go home, come back if there's any change' Tight bastard!"

"A boy was born without testis Doctor asked the father: is there any member in the family who had the same anomaly. Father replied without missing a beat: yeah, his mother."

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra. ""Watch where you're going!"" exclaims the woman. ""Sorry, I'm dyslexic and I thought this was a bar, can I get you a drink?"""