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Joke of the Day

"Her: ""I'm Romanian"". Me: Like the lettuce?!"

"Public speaking is a lot like being on a topless beach. It's only hard for the first few minutes."

"Wanted: 1 Psychic. You know who you are."

"I have a lips."

"Opened a can of expired beans and an eagle flew out carrying a photo of a can of fresh beans. I nervously ate the photo while he observed."

"Do Chinese cities have Americatowns?"

"When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: ""Guess who?"" for 2 weeks."

"A man walked into a bar... and promptly left after realising his Wife was more important."

"People are smoking weed today They all think that today is 4/20, too."

"When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like I love you for what you have inside. (Me to my fridge)"