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Joke of the Day

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... ...not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car"

Next Joke
 
"I Hate Being this Sexy, But Somebody Has To Do it."
"Neil deGrasse Tyson walks into a bar. Everyone leaves. ""EVERYONE?"" he chuckles to himself. ""7.4 billion humans couldn't fit in this space."""
"My girlfriend told me that she has bronchitis. I wish I had a dinosaur."
"Special olympics joke [0 upvotes 'cause no one cares about special olympics]"
"A WOMAN: i've only been washing my hair ME: IN THE OFFICE BATHROOM SINK!! ME TOO!! THE WOMAN: once a ME: ONCE I WAKE UP I KNOW SAME ME TOO!!"
"How do you pick up a smokin' hot Jewish girl? Broom and a Dustpan."
"Cantaloupe... or Wontaloupe?"
"No one J.D. should have all that power and associates."
"I asked my 9 yr old a question 27 min ago. She's still answering it."
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