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Joke of the Day
"Bored? Sneak a dog into the movies and loudly explain the plot to the dog"
Next Joke
"Why are pills white? Because they work"
"[trying not to think about Sonic The Hedgehog during sex] Her: faster! faster! Me: oh god no"
"I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know... Oreos."
"I pray every night that I never become religious..."
"What's the difference between a car salesman and a technology salesman? The car salesman knows he is lying."
"Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is!"
"There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley... one was assaulted."
"A baby seal walks into a club. please dont hate me"
"My girlfriend's a crappy computer ... she always shuts down when I need her but never shuts up when I don't."