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Joke of the Day
"*Pulls out pin* *Throws fire extinguisher*"
Next Joke
"After reading your recent updates, I'm surprised that Facebook hasn't yet asked you, ""Whatever's on your mind, could you keep it to yourself?"""
"What's wrong with a broken alphabetizer? It's out of order."
"Dude you're like my fridge... Super cool. (Best used when a friend is bragging about themselves)"
"If I had a nickle for every time I heard the word Diversity at the Oscars.. I still wouldn't give a shit."
"My dad and I talking. I asked my dad today ""What rhymes with orange?"" He replied ""No, it doesn't"""
"ESPN First Take - Patriots' Players Question Rex Ryan's Defense"
"[walking away from taco truck] WIFE: whats wrong ME: nothing WIFE: did u think the truck would be one giant taco ME: *wiping away tears* no"
"My favorite pick up line/joke. Yo homeboy!? How about you be my Sherlock and I'll take you Holmessss!! ;)"
"Did you hear about the guy they found dead at the Mediterranean restaurant? Yeah, police are calling it a hummus-cide."