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Joke of the Day
"What do you call imitation Vietnamese noodle soup? Faux."
Next Joke
"ME: Billions of bacteria live on and inside my body INTERVIEWER: I meant tell me about yourself job-wise"
"Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison? You know he's guilty."
"When you lose one sense other senses are enhanced... that's why if you lose your sense of humor your sense of asshole is enhanced."
"What's the difference between a politician and an actor? One acts solely for money, the other is the actor."
"Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says to the other, ""Oh boy, it sure is hot in here!"" The other says, **""OH MY GOSH IT'S A TALKING MUFFIN""**"
"Who was the heaviest of the Pharaohs? King Two-ton-khamen."
"I almost forgot. Happy 4/20. Lets not waste time, lets smoke weed."
"How can you tell when an accountant is extroverted? He looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own."
"Bathrooms are international You're Russian to it, European while you're in there, and then ya Finnish."