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Joke of the Day

"Why did the zoo close the big cat exhibit? Because they just kept lion around!"

"How do you get an anorexic to gain 25 pounds? Marry her."

"My boyfriend said we could only get one cat. So I'm only getting one cat. One pregnant cat."

"Asked my parents if I was adopted... They laughed and said ""Of course not, why would we have chosen you?"""

"""I've been trying to recapture my lost youth... I really need to get that cellar door fixed."" ^^^^^^. ^^^^^^^. Gary Delaney."

"Daddy what is a transvestite? -Ask Mommy, he knows."

"What did the guy without hands get for christmas? We don't know, he hasn't opened the present yet"

"*Spoiler* US Presidential Election Result Leaked The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins."

"Just like the DNC run-off between Hillary and Obama in 2008.. ...it looks a woman is going to lose to a colored man."

"I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. And then it hit me. It was because we were inflating it."