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Joke of the Day

"An astronaut was ejected from the ISS naked. It's OK, though. He felt no pressure."

"Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible? Where Joseph served in Pharaoh's court."

"When I play poker, it turns out a lot like when I poop when there's no toilet paper... I get shit hands"

"is there a sadder metaphor of ur adulthood destroying ur childhood than the fact that to get to work evryday u hav to burn up dead dinosaurs"

"yikes. don't google ""cream pies"", google ""cream pie recipes"""

"I don't know why, but there were a lot of really disappointed convict's in my first class of Gen. Chem..."

"Attention crazy man on the subway: this is God. Please start telling everyone else in the car what I'm saying to you."

"So what are you doing these days? * -Oh, i just sit in my house and complain about things.. * -So how is that working out for you? * -Well i can't complain * -Oh"

"What do you call a mexican midget? A paragraph.Why?Because he's too short to be an essay."

"Why did the paleontologist measure the height of a dinosaur using a T-Rex's foot? Jurassic times call for Jurassic Measures."