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Joke of the Day

"My favorite way to clean my house is to stop inviting people over so no one sees it's still dirty."

"Boss: You're late! M: It's 6.30am B: You start at 6am! M: I know but that's just crazy. This is better for me. And now we wait for HR."

"why did sally fall off the swings she pooped herself"

"I just got ripped off by a Chinese guy. This pan he sold me doesn't fly at all."

"Feminism thats the joke"

"I applied for a job as a suicide bomber. I said I have no previous experience, they didn't seem to mind."

"Finally goes to open-mic night. gets on stage. bombs so badly gets arrested for terrorism. #BucketListFails"

"What did Hitler call his records store? The Vinyl Solution."

"A North Korean Gymnast walks into a bar his family is summarily executed."

"the restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang, it just means I can't be within 50'. We could still play catch or frisbee or something..."