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Joke of the Day

"Love is a can of soda. Open it up too fast & it explodes all over you. Take too long, it goes flat. But no matter what you should recycle."

"Engineering students are always confused by women... ....why do the ones with the most streamlined bodies put up the most resistance?"

"There are 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday."

"Too many girls want attention, not enough want respect!"

"For christmas i bought my girlfriend a pair of shoes and a dildo. That way if she doesnt like the shoes she can go fuck herself."

"Can't quit smoking? Wear mittens all the time."

"two guy's are sitting on the front porch in the yard they see a dog licking his balls one say's to the other do you think I could do that? his buddy says maybe but I think you should pet him first"

"THIS IS THE POLICE. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP. ""Wrong house guys."" ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? ""Yup, happens a lot."" OKAY COOL, SORRY."

"To make a boob joke all you need to do is use words that end in 'it' Isn'tit?"