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Joke of the Day

"I'm undecided about masturbation. On one hand it feels great -Bo Burnham"

"Goals for my kids before I had them: teach them Spanish, only use positive reinforcement, never yell. After: get them to put on pants."

"Why Sachin Tendulkar never sweat? Because he has huge fans!"

"The way I pronounced ""prix fixe"" should be enough for you to figure out that I can't afford to eat here."

"1) Put on chicken costume 2) Go to store to pick up eggs 3) Run up to store manager and emotionally scream ""WHO DID THIS TO MY CHILDREN????"""

"I would make a joke about your mom but cows are holy in India"

"What is an astronaut's favorite key on a keyboard? The spacebar!"

"Talking about your ex makes it sound like you're not over them. Hide their body and move on like a normal person."

"A stallion and a mare where due to get married but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet"

"I am so lazy I thought about looking at the super moon and decided 2033 isn't even that far away"