211994

Joke of the Day

"*detective bangs on table* I SAID GIVE ME A NAME! ""Uh, Aaron?"" Aaron... I like it! *'Aaron' leaves interrogation room, ready for a new life*"

"A fight broke out at the bubble-making contest. It came to blows."

"What breed will Donald Trumps dog be if he wins the election? A Border Collie"

"What did the lesbian vampire say to her lover? See you next month"

"A mattress will double in weight after six years, just like everything else I sleep with!"

"I avoid all spoilers for the new Star Wars movie. I won't watch the trailers and... I refuse to watch the movie itself as to stay spoiler free for the rest of my life."

"Who brew in the jewish house down the street? Hebrew."

"There was a really horrible sound coming from my car, so I asked Siri to identify it. Skrillex."

"'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"" A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""

"The worst thing about Hillary Clinton is she can't dicks out for Harambe even if she wanted to. Even Michelle can do that."