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Joke of the Day

"dirty minds Hey sexy shut the door, drop your pants, climb on top of me, and satisfy your needs. love always your Toilet."

"What's Batman's favorite dessert? Just ice cream"

"Tom Cruise has signed on for Mission Impossible V. His impossible mission is trying not to show up on everyone's gaydar."

"A child's purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals."

"I weighed myself today, then I ate the scale."

"My dentist kept telling me i have too much acid in my diet. So I told him he has too much fire on his head."

"My girlfriend is like -100. She's a 10 but she is also imaginary"

"A man goes to a psychiatrist... ...and he's holding a duck by the belly. The psychiatrist asks, ""Can I help you?"" The guy responds, ""Idunno. I've just been feeling down."""

"I need some advice What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning? I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off"

"The fact that your guy friends stop being funny after getting a girlfriend is proof enough that women are soul sucking banshees."